- Gryffindor: Do what is right
- Ravenclaw: Do what is wise
- Hufflepuff: Do what is kind
- Slytherin: PUT A FUCKING BASILISK IN THE CASTLE
i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now
i think you’re still technically gay
- nice friend person: hey, how've you been?
- me: capitalism is crushing me. i am barely surviving. i am full of toxic resentment. i want revenge.